havisham syndrome

i’ll mount your head upon the wall
taxidermy, antlers and all
glass for eyes, wood for frame
blood for sport, flesh for game
i’ll bleach your bones and comb your hair
your polished teeth and vacant stare
will follow me from room to room
a frozen flower in static bloom

my darling is a trophy
a testament to love
cemented in infinity
hanging high above
an empty bed in coffin silk
the perfect shade of sour milk
i will not let you rot, my love,
i will not let you rot.

Posted 5 months ago

i have a recurring nightmare where everyone i touch disappears. i have another recurring nightmare where my parents try to kill me. sometimes i dream that i am an angel. sometimes i dream that i am in a cage, howling.

Posted 6 months ago

nemor

by leaf and blood

by herb and blade

we make the mark

that will not fade.

by smoke and fire

by ash and dirt

we bend the sky

to kiss the earth.

from love to war

from moon to sun

so say us all

it will be done.

Posted 6 months ago

porth

i fell in love at weeping bay

a siren sang to me

she called me to the water’s edge

as blue as blue could be

i drowned myself in weeping bay

my heart is in the sea

my soul is in the siren’s mouth

as black as black could be

Posted 6 months ago

1/1/14

my body is a temple

in which strangers dance by night,

drinking wine like water.

a harsh wind blows through the catacombs.

the walls are painted in ugly colours

and never hear an honest prayer or sermon

but these cracked marble pillars

are all i have to hold me up so i will cherish them

i will clean the floors and altars

i will rebuild the falling walls

and place a wreath of flowers in the doorway

because this is the only home i have

and i must believe in something.

Posted 6 months ago

home sweet commune

way way out i’m living in the sticks

with a chicken and a couple of pigs

open the skies, i got gods to find

burning out the old souls with a torch

gasoline and pitchforks

i’m doing the good work, the good work

got buckets for the milk and

barrels for the blood

boxes for the teeth and

fields for the mud

home sweet commune this is good

i’ll build myself a barn and

build myself a church and

build myself a cellar and

orchestrate my rebirth

just need a farm

just need a firearm

just leave me on my own and i’ll do no harm

Posted 6 months ago

ii

this pockmarked shredded bruising skin

this shrivelled self-destructing brain

this bitter twisting cold claw hands

this screaming sickly gorgon frame

this snarling bile spitting mouth

these smudging glaring hungry eyes

these smoking lungs and aching heart

full of dust and buzzing flies

Posted 6 months ago

i

small clean girls

neat petite girls

agreeable, squeezable,

ameanable girls.

like, what is not to love

about sweet pretty girls

don’t fight back girls

don’t cry in public girls,

not sick burning headcase chimera cunt girls

like me.

Posted 6 months ago

it would be so hard to pull somebody back from the edge. like talking about water to a person on fire. i have stood inside the furnace so many times but the flames are put out just before the last scrap of my flesh can become ashes and then i must regrow again and again and again

Posted 6 months ago

pay for it

yet again i’m ruminating hard

on all potential failings

i’m derailing from my train of healthy thoughts

in the presence of rejection

i regret all my affection

thrown at someone who can’t tell me from a whore

who would pay me for a fuck

having run all out of luck

getting girls who settle for a little more

i do not settle, simply spread

like fungus over your bed

i will stain your sheets and leave your muscles sore.

feed my ego, feed my habit, then feed my old malaise

and my neuroses about closeness and the darkening of days

i want flesh and i want hunger

i will tear your bones asunder

if you only tell me how to cause you pain.

Posted 6 months ago